I’m seriously considering removing all the spirituality links off of my work because most of the woo out there is beginning to disgust me and I don’t feel like I want to be associated with it in any shape or form.

Spirituality is simply seeking resonance with the cosmic truth within, a resonance of love, a resonance of depth, an innate curiosity towards the big soup (God or not) we’re a part of and a seeking of understanding these layers within ourselves.

This is not an ego-rub blogpost. Sorry.
It may hurt you temporarily. Consider it and see how it fits for you. We’re a myriad of expressions, always.

The Woo I get to witness more and more is another circus we attach attention to, and get lost in.
A quickie brain-masturbation.
Just so we don’t have to feel the pain.
Just so we can engage in more sorrow and bypassing.
Just so we can just numb the terrible truths a little longer.

😭Holy smokin, doesn’t this actually hurt?
It may not hurt now, but it sure as heck will in the long run.

I can see how I’ve gone down the fix-me-till-forever-lane for so many years.
I followed a cult leader, religiously would sit in front of youtube once a week to soak up her “vibes” every saturday.
No don’t ask who it is. It’s not about the “who she was”.

It’s more about the who I was at that time.
A lost soul trying to understand the depths of my wounded heart.
I was a wreck. I couldn’t stand in my truth and ask for the things I needed or desired from a man, from my partner at that time, without feeling burdens of turmoil, shame, guilt.
Couldn’t stick to my routine of a dancer and just grind down for my passion.
Genuinely, I feel I just wanted to be loved and held.
Very frankly, I wasn’t able to do that.
Why wouldn’t he just do it.
Why wouldn’t the world understand.
Why wouldn’t more opportunities show up.
Why wouldn’t the bills cost less.

Lost and numb I got salvation-trapped in woo teachings, in mediation, in yoga.
I was only ever scratching the surface.
It was a desperate quest.

Only after 36 therapy sessions! was I ever able to gaze through the veils that maybe this toxic relationship I allowed myself to stay in was the symptom of my anxiety.
Depression came as a result for me so I could slow down: the actual fear of abandonment I’ve been carrying from my childhood, when my parents had to go abroad to get by and I was left at my grandmothers’. All of this had accumulated among many other things.

When I went to Vipassana this year I understood many more things.
The entanglements of codependency strike me hard.
They still do today.

And the truth I feel here, it NEVER was about NOT feeling the feels. About NOT having disagreements, about NOT feeling the grip of fear and suffering.
It never was about trying to be better as, have a better vibe or better relationship or better life than the one I was in.

I feel that a lot of teachings have been butchered with the New Age Woo.
As much as it soothed me at the time to believe that “oh well, my boyfriend’s just not on my vibe, he won’t get it!”
And then chastising myself for not “being high-vibe enough that I’m still attracting that shit into my life”

😭🐤Holy DUCKS *quak* Damn!

Can anyone else see how this is a distortion of oldskool religion wrapped in pretty bows?
How there’s SO MUCH bypassing in this!

What about sitting with the question:
why do I feel he needs to change? (lie!)
why do I feel I’m not good enough again? (lie!)
why do I believe anything anyone is telling me is more true than what I feel, believe, understand? (hmm)
how about: what am I doing to create this scenario of feeling trapped?
to make him wrong so I can be right? (drop the responsibility)
to make myself wrong so I can keep being the victim? (vicious circle loop of trying to be better as who I was)

Hmm…
would I not have clients come to me with THIS EXACT feel.
would I not hear these self-degrading stories OVER and OVER.
would I not read the BS of I want I want I want (fake entitlement exacerbating the lack of power)
and the poor me poor us poor all we’re still not there yet (let’s run another round in the BS-hamsterwheel)
and the I want (for some reason can’t do)
oh and the I wish (but it’ll never happen to me)
then I’d be okokok Lisy… one in a million… no big deal

buttttt 🙈🐤HOT DUCKS *quak-quak* ShizzleDamn

EVERY DAY 🙀🙄

Here’s some facts:
We can stay in that limbo for years.
We can stay hooked on the guru like a coke-addict
We can stay in that life of powerlessness by unconscious consent
We can stay in that relationship hoping he’ll change
We can stay in that pattern of self-sabotage and just be another lost artist who didn’t make it

And make it all “look pretty”
And make it all “sound fine”
And make it all “feel ok again”

Years.
Gone in the wind.
Moments of opportunity wasted for the desire to just BE OK.

You see the issue is that I’ve seen women take their power
I’ve seen them cry and figure it out

Here’s the OTHER FACTS:
I’ve seen them call BS on themselves and woman up with all of their stories (and monetize them!)
I’ve seen them call out the relationship status quo and create bonds that actually fill their hearts
I’ve seen them drop the struggle and MFn elevate into powerhouses, speak in public, become hot Goddesses
I’ve seen them build new lives from the grounds up
I’ve seen them feel the anger and the gold dust of who they really are on the other end
I’ve seen them forgive who they never thought they could forgive
I’ve seen them say YES with fullbody resonance
I’ve seen them yell HELL NO and walk the other way

Spirituality is just the lense.
What’s beyond that path you tread is always YOU being right here right now.
Proud. At peace. Connected.
What’s beyond the shiny glitz-glam is a woman who had her heart ripped into pieces and she still chooses love.
Not because that’s the “high-vibe way”
Simply because walking in love brings you into the flow.

When you’re in the flow, it happens.
That woo-thing called magic.
That woo-thing called manifesting
That woo-thing called abundance
That human-thing called dreamlife
That human-thing called transformation
That human-thing called money

Be ready to drop the woo and elevate into you being YOU
Right here
Right now

Be ready to drop the woo and elevate everything you do.
Just because
Elevate your relationships.
Just because.
Elevate your career.
In fact, ditch the because!

So?
How does it feel now?

————-
Photo by Amir Masud