In short: Embody your inner Cosmic Goddess.

In detail: Read below.

This woman came to me after doing a lot of self-development and tantric practice initiations (shared with her husband). And even though they had learnt so much, their temple nights started to become like a checklist over whether her husband was doing it right or wrong – unfortunately the end result looked more like this:

he just didn’t get her, couldn’t touch her right, was too harsh and basically a lover without true heart-centred presence and emotional fuidity. Her body would close and with that “the only way” she could allow pleasure in was never met by him.

The mental trap of judgment and the “not good enough” wound were only exacerbated. In reality, her “way to pleasure” turned into overthinking, judging and relentlessly projecting on her partner. This exhausted the polarity between them – even though it looked like she was lovingly guiding him and showing him – her body gave the same response month after month: more closure, grief and bracing for the moment “it” would just be done.

This is a typical scenario of spiritual self-development work that backfires on our relationships and more specifically on our somatic intelligence. Women who accelerate consciousness and “overtake” their partners, then start to armour up and fell unsafe with the very same person they used to bond so well with.

Why is that?

Especially when a woman feels like she is now more receptive, she may have unconsciously killed her “king” instead and built a wall around herself. The pleasure body (that is naturally great at experiencing ecstasy) simply cannot be checklisted into function. And more “consciousness” work can wreak havoc in the feminine pleasure circuitry – it takes a different level of awareness to stay fully awake through this deeply tender transition, without collapsing our partners into boy-projections.

To release the loops betwwen inner self- & partnercritic was a huge curve of initiation for this woman. What was hiding below this intimacy stagnation was not that she didn’t know enough or wasn’t “feminine” enough / aka her partner not “masculine” enough.

There was no “victim” in this story – but the life lived in racial suppression, the unmet desires of becoming a mother, finally changing careers from a traditional job into the mission of a liberated goddess doing her soul work at last, created such a deep conditioning of good girl contortion – her body was acutely exhausted.

All the pent up rage, rejection and frustration accumulated over all these years had never been processed and she couldn’t override the reality of her body’s intelligence with tantric practices and polarity work alone. And it wasn’t her partner’s duty to do this work for her, either.

We had many sessions where what I said “triggered”. Yet she was so brave and willing to meet herself and all her scary emotions. There was the wild woman within, beckoning her and showing her that she was deeply yearning to meet her salvation – not in more spiritually conscious contortion – but in her pleasure body.

And so slowly, we unchained the grips of projected rage, lubricated the old pain pockets with presence, lovingly supported the sobs of her gnarling inner child, tended to her soft erotic waves.

We made weekly Goddess appointments for her, where it was all about self-pleasure & exploring eros without the expectation of orgasm. Her husband was not allowed to come to these – because she needed to meet her own pleasure body anew.

And at the completion of our coaching package- things still didn’t look perfect – however I knew she would be ok. She had all the tools and her somatic intelligence would lead her from there.

And a year after Cosmic Goddess, she reported to me that the love between her & her husband is deeper than it has ever been before. Their union and intimacy is mindblowing and fierce. They had also recently overcome traumatic life experiences together, and instead of resulting in bickering, arguments and rage, it was all turned into deep lovemaking intimacy and more. Her husband is happy and proud – he loves serving her and pleasing her.

The alchemical cauldron of long term marriages is a true gift. Most relationships break apart on the most glorious tipping points – and never reach this level of bonding.

I’m so proud of her, for staying in the lane of trust and receptivity, especially when the accumulative force could have caused a breaking point. Instead she cracked open for love and presence and offered her husband the annointments of “Kingmaking”.

It takes a Queen to bless her King as the rightful presence- and she did it.

Well done gorgeous!

Are you ready for a transformation in your love making and long-term relationship?

OR have you “lost” a relationship in the past because of spiritual acceleration that didn’t leave room for embodied integration and it still stings?

Let’s talk! Book your free Break-through session here.

Much love,

Lisy xo

(Photography Art by @lizwolter)